When I was younger and kinda unsure of myself, I really didn’t know what I was doing when it came to relationships so I just tried to follow my heart and hoped for the best. I didn’t have a blueprint, let alone any guidance from adults but I ALWAYS knew my worth and I held on to that. Often times I wished I grew up in a more lovable, mushy, touchy-feely household because I just didn’t know how to let go and own my feelings but rather I kinda pushed them aside and became very guarded. Nature vs. Nurture and vice versa…there were so many factors that shaped me, so many. As faith would have it, I grew up with an older brother who in a very unforeseen fashion, showed me the ropes when it came to men. Don’t take NO shit, you hear me!?!!? I hear you Mike B I hear you. But it wasn’t until I had children that I started to get all up in my feelings. LOL. I think that combination of owning myself and allowing myself to be vulnerable to those I love and care about made me a better me. But it was definitely a conscious decision because it certainly didn’t come easy and didn’t feel natural. But I somehow knew that in order for me to be a good mom, a good friend and a good wife, I had to step outside of myself, the only person I had ever known and be vulnerable and open. To my kids, my friends and especially to my husband.
So naturally, there were times my true authentic self was tested and I fell victim to…”I should be more like that” because I thought, just for a moment, that being quiet or reserved or simply just in my zone wasn’t “sexy” or “fun” or “appealing”. But a part of me ALWAYS knew that if I tried to be someone I wasn’t, I would not be honoring my truth. People view women in their inner circle, or their family, or their job, or online and sometimes make assumptions that what they see is perfection or “right”. Luckily, the universe was guiding me and I found someone who was willing to speak my love language and never asked me to be anything other than who I am. I, in turn, am compelled to speak his. We’re so much alike in so many ways and so very different in even more ways which is why it works…for us. In our own special perfect way, we honor each other’s language and that is what 25 years look like. Some people love to show outward signs of PDA or go on romantic strolls which I personally think is a beautiful reflection of love…for them. I also find beauty in my special perfect love, when he greets me at the door every single day with a kiss or never fails to remind me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. Find someone who is willing to speak your language and never ever doubt what sustainable love FEELS like to you.
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